Battle Background – Ashley vs. Ryan Heffernan (Bipolar Clown)

(@AshNicole_08 vs. @clownandi)

As is the way with the random nature of the Twitter Machine, I met Ashley in a thunder and lightning strike from beyond that resulted in the first ever poets battle of this kind. Ashley, hidden within the hundreds of millions – the masses – when she responded to one of my Bipolar Clown videos. The very next day I bumped into Ashley again and what began as an irreverant celebration of Friday from Ashley ended in an epic poets battle where Ashley headed into the saddest mental health terrain of all – the suicide of her beautiful 19-year-old best friend just nine months before. As you’ll see, Ashley is truly someone special, and a formidable poet warrior at that.

Of course A: is for Ashley’s words and R: is my words.

A Poets Battle Steeped In Mental Health Kin Love


A: It’s finally fucking Friday twatters!

R: It’s a beautiful thang

A: Woo child you ain’t lyin’

R: Never. Never ever. Not ever. Or ever. Even ever.

A: You’re clever! Forever!

R: Yum. I do like that.

A: That what’s that? Is it a hat? Is it a cat? No it’s just Ash

R: Smooooooooooooooooooooth Ash, knows cats from hats and hats from cats, but doesn’t give a fuck what’s that.

A: That oh that no Ash don’t give a fuck about that!

R: Indeed.

The Battle Proper:

A: You see I am me. You can take it or leave. I won’t cry or sob for I have one job. To strengthen those lost in need, i’ll do what I can yes INDEED.




Because you see,
The need is extreme,
The lost move in search,
Of a place that ain’t real,
Need a lamplight,
And a gentle guide,
With a sword,
And a knife,
To carve a path,
To Insight,
And sweet sunlight.




Sunlight you say? Well where is day?
All I see is the Frey.
Haunting soul catching, breath taking..
It’s like death in the making.
No one sheds a tear no one can see, but if they did they’d want to be free.
I want sun like the light I don’t want to be left alone in this fright…




Dearest death,
In our rooms, which are her tombs
She glides and she smiles
Because they cannot see
With wide open shut eyes
Chasing what they can buy
With the spoils of their open lies.
Death knows all this
And she likes it this way
Because she need not kill
The living dead




The living dead is what I am
No one said this to a man.
Death doesn’t come easy
So when I go let it be pleasing.
I live in a tomb
Just like I did in a womb.
Take me away take me slowly
Bring me back to life as holy.
Death it’s hurts
But not if you go first.




You be good. Wording up now.




But you can’t be the living dead
They do not know they are so
Their tombs are their rooms
Their cars and their tasks
They’re not from here
They are from there
Denial is their oblivion
And death like a far fog
It’s existence they do not acknowledge
But death is your pure knowledge




Who knows what death is til they feel it?
Do they reach it and feel regret?
She hung herself was she free?
Can you please please tell me?
I sit her 9 months later and cry
Why wasn’t it me for her I’d die.
I’d give my life
Through all the strife.



But it can’t work this way
For it is not to be
One life for another is fraught
Mired in unrest
For all are unique
A place in the cosmos is just theirs
Age means nothing
When agony is in the offing
Perhaps she has peace
Agony doth cease
Age means nothing
Love wants only to be free




Peace she found but what about me?
Everyday is nightmare you see!
I’d give my life for hers
It’s like for better or worst!
She had life to live and she gave it
Looking around no one gave a shit.
But I did! Id save her Ina heartbeat
If it meant she’s be here with me.




But was that her gift?
She, your beloved
Means her peace is yours
The darkest knife,
Encrusted in jewels
Wrapped gently in parchment
A letter for her only one
A letter with no written word
That said, I am now free
And so are you
I am so, so sorry
But it has to be
A new you and me




It’s not you have to believe
When she died so did me.
Her peace was found and I am happy with that
But God what I’d give to have her back.
19 that’s it that young
For every song I sing is for her to be sung.
The night is coming to and end
I thank you for listening my friend.




Please, you must know I believe,
In your pain and agony,
The passage of time,
Has scarcely moved by,
The memory of her,
Still bleeds and bleeds.
But I can feel from here,
That you be,
The strong woman soul,
And you will be,
Resilient and wise
No lies
Goodnight friend
Till ends.




I have faith she found her peace
I’m still waiting for me.
But I’d suffer a million lifetimes
Knowing that.
Because I can’t change the past.
She’s at rest while flying free
Always circling around me.
Goodnight. Goodnight to you
May you never ever feel what she went through!




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